Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Debilitating heat

The word “debilitating” has taken on new meaning due to my studies of the Spanish language.  As some of you might know, the word “debilitating” is derived from the Latin word “débil” meaning “weak.  So in this expression we refer to a heat that makes one feel weak.  Here in my room, with the temperature hovering around 106, this heat is tangible.  It makes you feel like you’ve just finished a marathon, mostly because you’re sweating as if you had. 

Summing up my astounding strength of character and determination, I find a way to push through the heat: air conditioning.  There’s air conditioning in the teacher’s lounge at my school.  It sure beats showering with cold water and then laying naked on my tile floor with the fan blowing directly at me.  That cool feeling doesn’t last long.  Not like I’ve tried it, I’m just saying…

Before I left for vacation in the U.S. we finished second period at my school.  This marks the halfway mark in the school year.  Thankfully about 2/3 of my students passed English, compared to 1/6 the first period.  It seems like were making some progress, not just with the students’ knowledge, but also with their attitudes towards learning.  In the past it seems like their teachers were in a hurry to move them on to the next grade, whether they knew the material or not. Obviously, this led to a complacent attitude in them.  Based on their behavior, their internal dialog must have been something like: “School is just a required waste of time.  I’ll be here while I have to, but you’re not getting any more than the bare minimum from me.”  And that bare minimum was really almost nothing.  I hope and pray that they’re beginning to see the value of a good education and that all good things require sacrifice.

I try to understand where these kids are coming from, but it’s hard.  While I was a poor kid from a broken home, I had a lot compared to them.  Poor kids in poor neighborhoods, violence around every corner, lack of support from adults around them, media that declares that what you are is what you have and what you look like.  Hunger, abuse, waste, frustration, anger, hate, disillusionment.  And they’re 16 and 17 and trying to make some sense of something.  And they’re brave, funny, playful, smart, compassionate.  Quite amazing really.  And I’ll do whatever I can to help them overcome the obstacles and be a source of joy and hope in this world.

For those of you that want more concrete details about my life:  I’m still working Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday at my high school.  On Thursdays I still volunteer at a foundation for pregnant teens.  In my free time I go to the beach and try to stay cool while not getting burned.  I feel guilty about not being around my family more.  It makes me sad to think of all the things I’m missing as my niece and nephew grow up.  I’m ok with the sacrifice I made in coming down here, but it hurts that my family also had to make a sacrifice in letting me go.  I think I’ve got a pretty good idea of what my life will be like for the next 6 months, but after that I’m clueless.  It’s tough being unsure. 

My friends and family, I love you all dearly!  You’re in my heart, my thoughts and my prayers.  Cuidense!

Micah