I’m afraid. And that scares me. Fear paralyzes. It makes us stay when we should go. It keeps us silent when we should speak. It keeps us running when we should stop.
This isn’t my usual state. Despite regular failures, I try to live fearlessly. But too often I let my fears cage me. Right now I fear not finding a job that I love, not finding someone to share my happiness with, not finding the right place to put down roots. That’s a lot of fear.
Luckily, at this point in my life, uncertainty is not a rarity. A quick look back provides a lot of perspective:
10 years ago (2007): I was in university and I didn’t know what I’d do with my degree (International Studies) after I finished.
5 years ago (2012): I was teaching in Colombia. I love teaching, but I wanted to do something different in the area of education. I just didn’t know what or how.
Now (2017): I’ve got the degrees and experience necessary to do the work that I’m passionate about.
If this trend continues, in 5 years I’ll probably look back and wonder why I let myself worry or stress about the next step. Whatever it is, it will help me continue to grow. Between now and then I might have many relationships or I might just have one. I may live in just one country or a half dozen.
There are a lot of things that we can’t control. But we can control how we live each day.
I want to be more kind, curious, knowledgeable and courageous each day. Wherever I am, whatever I’m doing, whoever I’m with – there’s nothing that can stop me from reaching those goals.
Fear paralyzes; hope strengthens.